dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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