He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
