She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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