I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
