i just had sex bonerless
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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