When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
