On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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