She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
