Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I need to calm my uterus...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
