So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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