I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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