just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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