i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
