You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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