it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
These tits shall not be calmed
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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