I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
