Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
