no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
