she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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