He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
