How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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