i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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