im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
