Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
