I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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