Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
