So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
