There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
