You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize