If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
