I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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