I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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