and you said cock pushups were impossible
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You are a genius and a whore.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
