How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just had sex on a roof
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
