I'm jealous of your bromance
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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