I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
