I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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