True but thats because hes a fetus.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
