belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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