I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
