garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
