Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
