I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
