she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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