My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
