his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
