Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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