mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
