Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
