I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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