Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
