I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
