i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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