her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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