He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
