mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize