He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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