brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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