He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
