he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
