What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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