So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
