lets start a swedish sibling band together
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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