walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
