I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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